Sometimes when I sit in church on a Sunday morning, I'm certain my pastor is speaking directly to me. His message--the details, the examples he uses--describe me, my life, my situation, my shortcomings. I found the same feeling creeping up and then settling in this evening as I began reading Penny Kittle's book Write Beside Them, which the secondary communication arts teachers in my school district are studying. Troy Hicks, the consultant working with our teachers later this month to study reading and writing workshop, chose it for us; he must have the same window-to-my-soul ability as my minister, letting him know exactly what I need. It's as if this book was written just for me at just this point in my teaching career.

Kittle writes, "...you really can't teach writing unless you write yourself." OMG. She is so right. That makes perfect sense. And I have been writing with my students this year, showing them the pieces I create as a model for the various skills I teach, but I'm not really a writer. I don't write for myself, for the sake of writing, to practice the craft of writing, to spill out my ideas. I write when I have to. How then can I expect my students to truly be writers, to love--well, at least appreciate--writing? As Kittle says in her book, "We don't learn many things well just by following directions." That, though, is what I'm expecting of my students for the most part. Kind of like telling someone how to change the oil in a vehicle without ever having done it myself, let alone even coming close to mastering the craft. Kittle is so right when she writes, "The apprenticeship with a master in the field is still the best model for learning." I've got to at least work at becoming a master of writing, or I have no business trying to make writers of my students. (You can check out the first chapter of Kittle's book at http://zzwriter.com/2010/02/23/write-beside-them-risk-and-voice-by-penny-kittle/.)

I'm certainly no master writer. I am better at it today--if I actually practice the craft beyond an email to my principal, a letter to a parent, notes for a presentation--than I have ever been as I try to apply to my own writing the strategies and skills I teach my students. But the only time I really write is when I need a model for them. And yet I want them--even expect them, if I'm feeling especially bold--to be good writers, to understand and practice the craft of writing, even to love writing without doing that myself. How dare I!

And so, today that changes. If I expect my students to write and to practice the craft of writing toward mastery--not that I'm sure we ever reach the end of that journey--I must do the same myself. I set up this blog some time ago but haven't been back to actually write, to share my ideas here. Well, it's time. And so here we go. This is my place to share my thinking as well as to share my writing. Here's to hoping that my colleagues and my followers here will provide the feedback I need to stretch my thinking and help me grow as a writer.